UPDATE: 37-year-old brother sends anonymous flowers to 35-year-old sister, leading sister to divorce her husband

Advertisement
  • 01
    Woman holds bouquet of purple flowers while looking worried.
  • 02

    Am I wrong for sending my sister flowers anonymously and making her husband upset?

    I (M, 37) have always been close to my sister (F, 35). We talk regularly, and during one such conversation, she told me she's been feeling really depr sed/ overwhelmed lately.
  • 03
    As we were talking, I could tell she was holding back tears. So I decided to do something nice for her.
  • 04
    I contacted a local florist and put in an order for some flowers. I had them delivered to my sister's place of employment with a note reading "Thinking of you." A few hours later, the florist called me up and told me a man has been calling them non-stop and demanding they tell him who sent his wife flowers.
  • 05
    They tried to explain that it was against their policy to reveal that information, but the man wouldn't talk no for an answer.
  • 06

    This is such a warning sign

    Apparently he became so aggressive and th ening over the phone, the shop called me up and asked my permission to reveal the name of the sender to the man.
  • 07
    Man shows up to plant shop to question who gave his wife surprise flowers.
  • 08
    The man being my brother-in-law. It turns out, my sister had called her husband and thanked him for the flowers.
  • 09
    He told her he hadn't sent any flowers and accused her of having an affair. He believed her affair partner had sent them to her, which is why he called the florist like a lunatic, demanding names.
  • 10
    Now my sister is more depr sed than ever and she's been fighting with my brother-in-law ever since.
  • 11
    My friends think I should've included my name on the card. Had I done that, they say, this blow-up would've never happened.
  • 12
    I say it's my brother-in-law to blame, as he was the one who can't control his temper.
  • 13
    So reddit, am I the a hole? Edit / Update: Oops! I totally forgot to explain that I gave the florist permission to tell my brother-in-law it was me.
  • 14
    So he knows, my sister knows, everyone knows at this point. Sorry for the confusion!
  • 15

    Here's an update after this man had a chance to consider advice from people who weighed in

    UPDATE: Thank you all for your kind words and honest judgement. I acknowledge that my momentary lapse in judgement has wrought much instability.
  • 16
    Your concern for my sister's well-being truly touched my heart. I would, however, like to take this time to explain that it was not my intention to foul up my sister's marriage by way of my anonymous gift.
  • 17
    Nor have I ever harbored any feelings toward my sister. Now, the update: You guys were right.
  • 18
    It turns out her marriage has been on the decline for a long while now and her depre son is largely the result of that.
  • 19

    The flower incident will forever be known as the catalyst led to the divorce

    My sister is now getting divorced. I feel like they were definitely headed in that direction, but my actions probably sped things up.
  • 20
    My brother-in-law has moved out - - - and in with another woman (so I tend to agree with those commentators who speculated some degree of projection on his part when he accused my sister of having an affair).
  • 21
    In talking with my sister, she explained that he was always verbally ab ive with an explosive temper.
  • 22
    He's thrown things and p through walls, but never physically harmed her, she says (although who knows how things might've progressed had she stayed).
  • 23
    All in all, my sister's ... disappointed (?) at the failure of her marriage, but seems cautiously optimistic.
  • 24
    I'll be sure to support her going forward and want to thank you all again for your concern!
  • 25
    Man searches for the perfect bouquet of flowers for his sister.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article